Friday, January 03, 2003

eh i'm not feeling okay again. HAHA. again. the manic depressive side of me is taking over! weeee. okay let's see where we should begin from.

- stomachache. gastrics. indisgestion. too much junk food. no oil or chilli for the next few days. porridge and green vegetables, yay. *kowtows to rice sacks and vegetables*
- feel awkward and weird about skipping school on the second day of the term.
- the big question, "who am i going to have recess with on Monday?!"
- promised Nurul that i'd meet her outside her classroom after school today. realized that she'd be looking for me. panicked and decided that i'd go to school at 0145 and collect homework from Mei Yen at the same time.
- found her at the canteen with Jill, Mary and Naomi. goodness knows what the latter was doing at the table. Jill, i assume.
- have in bag, a 2-page note i wrote her in the morning and a bag of sugar-free sweets. she was complaining about her fat-ness for almost the whole of yesterday.
- sat at the table, got to talk to her for a bit. that's before the rest of her team-mates came to join the table.
- felt kinda funny because she was obviously having a LOT of fun with them and i've never even seen her this happy with me.
- what she told me on the 13th repeated itself over and over in my head. "what if i tell you that the netballers are more important than you?"
- felt REALLY out of place.
- felt irritated with myself for feeling that way because i should be happy to see her so happy. i was/am. honestly. it just stung to know that i can never make her happy like how her team-mates do.
- it is unreasonable to be angry with her just because she's enjoying her time with her friends. she probably had a lousy day in class. but couldn't help feeling sad. she asked me if i wanted to go elsewhere, don't know why though. declined the offer because i know she'd rather sit here with her friends and i understand that. waited for Mei Yen to come. she didn't bring her homework to school. sat at the table for awhile more and decided it would be better if i made myself scarce and leave her with her friends.