Saturday, December 28, 2002


I just re-read the entry.

*slaps self*

WHAT sharon wong man?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHAH. wtf. I am finding this fucking funny.

SHARON QUEK LA! how could i have forgotten?! HAHAHAHA. what sharon wong.

Haha. I closed Nessa's conversation window by mistake.
I was asking why she called me. Then she said cuz she wanted to know if I was going, or went already.
Then she said.. she ask if I going, then Sam was in the background.. "jolene coming? jolene coming?"
Hahaha. So funny. Said she used his phone cuz hers no more money.
Then when she mentioned her asking if he wants to talk to me, I was like.. yea yea.. he said no, I heard. Hahah.
She said his reaction was "Oh nono! Duwan." Or sth like that la. Haha. She said he suddenly like very scared but excited.

HAHAHA. you have any idea how funny that sounds? Hahaha. But I'm one happy girl. -GRINS-

Woot. I'm now in the typeeverythingthatcomestoyourhead mood. Haha. So this means no updating in my other blogs, because by then I'd have run out of words already.
I am happy happy, and I'm going to clap my hands to show it very soon. Heh.

And I feel like WOOT-ing at everything.


Hahaha. I am still in a rather floaty mood. Heh.

Aiyoo, you. I don't think you should feel funny eh? I don't know. And ignore the Alicia girl la! Let her read what journal.. trying to act like she trusts Nurul a lot like that. Hmpf!

psychopaths. (saikopuffs) I burst out laughing, fyi.

I have a new skirt! Woot! but Mum doesn't know yet! Woot!. Die. Haha.

Ohh.. I like Meiji chocolates eh! Shit. Haha. Ehhh.. my pants are looser? Shit, that means my mum will realise it soon. Better stick to my jeans when i go out with her. At least they look tighter, and she's been seeing a lot of them anyway. Aahaha.

I think uh.. maybe just get a door for the kitchen la.. then can lock them up when got guest or something. But don't lock up the whole day la. very poor thing. I don't know if you should tell her about the christmas dinner thing eh.. But I dunnu. Why do you feel funny anyway? I don't think she's trying to let you taste your own medicine, not intentionally at least. Because i don't believe she's that evil. And if she says she's not, then try not to be over sensitive la? Don't think too much la - my favourite piece of advice. Haha. Because I'm not sure of what to say.

ya la. Chicken just puked in my room. ya la. chase each other and get all nauseated then conveniently puke in my room. ya la. clever la. monkeys. I burst out laughing, AGAIN.

Eh I want to go a lot of places eh..
-ya, the tinsel toon thing
-er.. can't rem la.

Haha.. But how! School's starting.. and I'm starting work. :(

Ah ya la. He just replied me.. say goodnight and all. And.. say he thinks his dance partner very sweet. -frowns- Hmpf. Boohoohoooooooo.
But ah. I shall not take note of that. Or at least, try to. Haha. Bah. Hmpf.

Boohoohoo. Amanda just told me he thinks his that partner is super chio. -POUTS-
Boooohooooooo. Ey SHIT LA!. Why the hell do i even feel affected?! Wtf.. This is so small lor?! And I'm affected? I can't believe this. Ah this very bad you know?! Tsk.

Boo. I hope by the time I decide to end this, I am feeling way better.
I happen to have 2 people confiding in me at the same time.. Amanda and Raphael. Hmm. And I'm not supposed to discuss whatever Raphael tells me with Clara. Wonder why. Haha. I think he's a nice person. Reminds me of Sam, in a way. Haha. Weird. Okay. Shut up jolene. Enough of that idiot. Hmpf.

I got new skirt. Yippee. And might get second one from you somemore! Yay! Later I go try again. Hmm. Mother doesn't know about it. Should I leave it for Chinese New Year? But I'd probably be damn tempted to wear it to work.

Oh oh! Can you bring your Giodarno jacket tmw? Cuz after tmw, I don't know when's the next time I'll get to see you. SHIT. That's damn sad. Boohoo.

Ahhh. Don't want to slip into depression now that I'm finally happy again eh! shit. Tsk. Never mind. We update this as often as possible okay! yay!
And you.. better keep that elephant on your bag. Hahahaa. -evil laugh- Muahahahaha.

My pants are loose! Ahhh. Haha. Okay. i just realised I mentioned them already. But they just popped into my head la. Hmm.

Okay. Let's try to make myself happy.
I saw him dancing. Oh oh.. and Nessa says the guy accidentally sang "why do birds fall from the sky" Hahaha. Funny.
Er.. The phonecall Nessa made? Let me just scroll up and re-read that and try making me happy.

Oh ya. Joel asked how come you didn't come play Tony Hawk today. Tmw come and play dress up la! FUN! Hahahaha. Barbie dolls.

I'm about to stab Amanda. Boohoo. She's upset she and sam drifted. And when she keeps talkinga bout him, I will get upset. Cuz i'm reminded that I'm affected. And she doesn't seem to care, or even realise that, even though I told her I'm affected like twice or thrice. Hmpf.

Am now discussing why I felt like killing someone at the bbq. Realised that i got abit pissed with Clara cuz she kept running off. Bah. Haha. Now the Raphael says sorry also. Mad.
Oh and my net friend is really gettingon my nerves la. Freaking irritating. I think if you were me, you would have yelled "fuck you!" at him looong ago. Oops, I just made you sound like a very vulgar, ill-tempered piece of monkey shit. Haha. But he uh. really you know. Is hardly ever happy. Always either pissed or upset. Hmpf. The pissed part ah.. is really irritating. And he gets pissed when I'm pissed and he can't get me to relax. What an idiot. So irritating. I'm sorry. I can't think of any other new words. I have a limited vocab la okay! I think you know that by now. Haha.

My brother happens to be watching a very old chinese show on tv now. Looks like China's army or something. I think he's mad? Saiko.

i just re-read my essay on "my hiding place", because someone asked me about work, and I just felt like reading it. I editted parts, and added in about 2 sentences. I'm starting to like it. :) Though I still think I write like a primary school kid. Lol.

HAIYA! I just realised that you didn't buy me my currypuff, and anything else, from Old Chang Kee. Haha. I want!
Ohhhhh shit. I owe you $35. Tsk. Better go dig out money, cry, whine. so that when I pass it to you tomorrow, I won't be holding on that tightly to the money. haha.

i should have known better than to breathe you in
the first time i held you there for just a second
but the mistake was mine
now i can't take my hands off you
i can't keep my hands off of you
i thought i'd only hold you once more
then i thought i'd let you go
i thought once would be enough
but i guess that wasn't so
now i need you
every day i need you more and more.

Wahhhhh.. very nice uh?! But I haven't heard it yet. Lol. Sad case.

HAHAHAHA. I sent the essay to Raphael, then he pestered me to tell him where. Told him Tanglin Mall and he almost died of heart attack. Don't know why also. Haha. Mad.

WAH LAO. This was the song I downloaded, thinking it was Infatuation. Just found out what's it's called, so I went to look at the lyrics. WAH LAO. I feel SO heart pain for whoever wrote it can! GOODNESS. So nicely and painfully written. HAIYOH.

the canopy above my head is all i see
another day another night
i'm lying here falling asleep
i sure hope that they do not think i'm lazy
and i hope that they don't think that i'm a slob
i hope that i don't make myself way too much at home
i hope you care when i'm gone
watch another movie
play another song
read another passage in the book
spend another hour of just another day
i hope i don't spend way too much time falling asleep
i sure hope that you always know i'll miss you
and i hope that when you sleep you're looking up
cause when i rest
i think of all those tired times
and i can't sleep when you're gone
those closed eyes remind me of what we have
please don't open them yet.

BOOHOO. so sad! But the son's not that nice. But I think The Juliana Theory is really talented. They play their instruments really well, and Brett Detar, the writer of most of their songs, is vey very talented. Tsk.

OH SHIT. I just realised it's 3am. And I'm hungry. Woot! Got tiramisu! Haha. I just hope no one ate it.

Okay. So how come I suddenly am feeling weird? Shit man.. really don't want this. Ah. I hope I get over it by 3:30am or something. Haha. Have a day of clearing out my room to look forward to. Whoopeedoo. Haha.

I jus asked the Raphael to say online, and then stated a disclaimer.
if the alleged victim wakes up tomorrow only to realise that he looks like a zombie, it is by no fault of the persuader, because she just asked him to stay online, unaware of the severe consequences of eyebags.
hahahaha. I'm freaking lame eh! Lol. And I realised I keep mentioning him. hahaha. That's cuz i'm talking to him now la. Lol.

Ooh. I hear my stomach! Haha. And this blog? Is starting to be like a companion for me when I'm online. The moment I think of something to say, I come back and type. Haha. And when I feel like leaving, I just end this. haha. How fun.

Yay.. I can stuff myself with the Indiany snack later. Really like it eh! Don't know why you don't. haha. Very.."pang".. Haha.
Ehh.. When you decide to go shopping for a skirt.. must tell me ah!
And when you start school, please try to study okay. Even though it seems nuts to start so early in the year. Please study for your Chinese Os.. cuz if you have to retake, I think it's a waste of time? Ya.. And by mid yrs, you must study already okay? Please? Because I really want to see you do well, I don't want you to regret not studying, like how I probably will be. I hope in Feb when you see me in school, (and i hope like mad it's not on my birthday.) i won't be crying my eyes out. Your form teacher.. in this case Sharon Wong, SHIT. IS SHE CALLED SHARON WONG?! Wong sounds totally wrong. SHIT. I FORGOT!! Hahahaha. Well anyway, she might get a little sadistic and bring you all to the hall to witness us getting results. It's to shock you all, to make you all study so you won't be crying. Cindy Liew did that this year. Hmm.

Stupid IRC. Netsplit. Hmpf.

Okay la. I bet your eyes are about to pop out for the second day in row. My dad just shushed my typing. haha. byebyeeee.

Friday, December 27, 2002

P/S : please read the bottom half first.

i think if i do get a skirt, i really will get one from Flash N Splash la. i don't want a plain one. it's so.. erm.. plain. haha i'm such an Einstein. ohohoh. then when she was going on and on about Sandra Bullock, i was poking at my spaghetti so that i won't start my nonsense again. got other things la ah never mind. Nugget just chomped on my thigh, misunderstanding my interference in Chicken's and her little game of chasing for enthusiasm. they're such psychopaths. (saikopuffs) i want to go to the Tinsel Town thing eh.

my room is invaded by mosquitoes. couldn't sleep last night because of all those blood suckers. raaaawwwwr. school commences on 2nd Jan, Thursday. i'm quite worried. like very alone like that. ah hope i adapt fast enough. or maybe i should just take on a theO'sandnothingelse attitude then i'll fine. i'm feeling so SLUGGISH. i'll go to the bank in 7 minutes then i'll go swimming for an hour perhaps. come home, change and i'll make my way over. how's that? yep it sounds good. ya la. Chicken just puked in my room. ya la. chase each other and get all nauseated then conveniently puke in my room. ya la. clever la. monkeys.
haha i like blogging in the morning. you got a problem with that you pathetic wanker? haha. that was fun. let's do it again. pathetic wanker! i better get my ass down to the bank before it's closed. we don't want my fat cheque to sit on my table looking attractive but useless. like an American blonde bimbo in a tiny bikini.

don't feel like going swimming actually. haha i am so lazy. but i think i really should. so fat. realized something? we both had BBQs last night! well yours was the authentic one and mine was the table kind but oh whatever la. haha i just picked up a new phrase. whatever that rocks your socks! whatever that floats your boat! stomachache. think it's the stupendous amount of disgested/undisgested food dancing around my insides. what a delightful sight.

the 2 dogs are really amusing. the parallel of both their bodies are practially surgically glued to each other's. awwww sho schweeeet. my mom wants to keep the 2 of them in the kitchen eh. bet Nurul will be jumping with joy when she hears this. she doesn't want to come over to my place anymore you know? just because i have 2 dogs. BAH. i know i nearly got upset at quite a few things yesterday. but i kept my cool la. can't remember what also. oh something about that Alicia girl letting her read her journal. what the heck. bah. bah. bah. see now i'm starting to get affected by that. pft. the Christmas dinner thing is still bothering me abit. should i bring it up or just get over it on my own? she seemed like she was picking on me yesterday la. that's why i say i think she is sub-consciously trying to give me a taste of my own medicine. which isn't a very good thing to do considering how hard i'm trying to make amends. but she said she doesn't mean it so i'll believe her. weird uh. i'm scared.

i've got the Meiji chocolates in my fridge. mwaha. my FAVOURITE. i'm turning into a hard-core chocaholic all over again. wrongbadwrongbadbadwrong. i think i'll probably reach your house later than scheduled. so farewell, Mr Hawk. boohoo. you said it yourself the other day remember? he doesn't reply because he's busy with all sorts of activities. i can never live my life like that you know. i like slacking around, doing things on my own accord. i don't like planned stuff. if i feel like it, i go. if i don't, that's just tooooo bad.
Whoopeedoo. I'm here to type about nonsense again. About to slip into a bout ofdepression la. So trying to type, and hope that the way this made me feel better yesterday will work again today. :)

I can't believe how bored one can get attending a bbq. Never again am I going to believe someone when he/she says that he/she is there, so I won't feel left out or anything. *shakes head vigorously* They always run off and leave me standing alone talking to air like I've I can't strike up a proper conversation with another human being. -frowns-
Makes me feel like abit of an idiot actually. Hmpf.

Oh wtf. My ACSi net friend.. just mentioned that he has some st gab friend, who knows who I am. Let me pry and ask. Oh phew. Miscommunication. :)

I am officially addicted to Lifestyles of the rich and famous. Haha. Woot.

I am so tired, but I don't feel like dragging my fat ass off to bed. Tsk. I feel like sitting here and typing til I at least feel better. Good form of release, this is. Haven't been updating my own blogs. Don't feel like. I don't know la. Once in awhile I get very sick and tired of knowing that people read my journals. But then again, I don't feel like typing to my private journal. At least when I blog here I get a response from you. Haha. Okay, I'm mad. I know.

Ah good la. Now Dad is asking why I don't want to go to a freaking JC. I bloody hate it when people have this assumption that people who don't do well go to poly. Fine, there is some truth in it, but still? Whatever.

So much for feeling better. Now I'll just go off to bed feeling all pissy. Bah.

I shall still continue typing anyway.

Good la. The moment I typed that previous sentence, my dad sits up on the bed and asks what course I intend to take. Ugh. I hate it when people ask why I don't want to go to a JC, how a U degree is impotant if I want to do journalism. Like hello? I want a fucking U education too, and very badly, at that. I just don't know if my capabilities can take me there. And this just only srves to remind me that my Mum is still hoping I will change my mind and go to a JC, even though she says she leaves the entire decision up to me. Wtf.

Bloody toot. Ah don't know la.

Woot. Tomorrow I get to see him. Why do I not feel happy? Maybe his absence from my life for one whole day has something to do with that. No wait. It's 2 days. I didn't msg him yesterday, but msgs twice today. Huh.
Ah don't know la. I'm going for a church musical to see Nessa. HMPF.

This is not turning out to be the kinda entry I want it to be. Oops.

On a happier and way lighter note, Pastamania! Yippee! Even though the cream sauce ones are those that make me feel so.. je lat after savouring them, I prefer them eh. But I can eat the tomatoe-y ones more easily. Dunnu. I'm weird. Whee.. new discovery of the day! Or did you know that already? Heh.

I still can't believe how bored and left-out I can feel. I haven't felt left-out in a really long time. And I hate the fact that I felt left-out in the presence of Clara. Ah don't know la.

Your sis thinks I'm cute? What a word to use. Ha. And I wanna see the skirt. Shit. All this talk about skirts is making me want to get a new one. Actually, I'd wanted a new one for quite awhile already. I just forgot all about it. Haha. So how.. you really want to give half the world a scare? I don't mind going with you to shop for one. Heh. Then we can go nuts again.

Oh and I walked past the Levi's counter at Isetan, Shaw today. Got reminded of us and our laughing fit. Ahaha. And I remmeber thinking that the staff there would have chased us out of their counter with brooms (Nimbus 2003?) if we dared to make so much noise then. Ahaha. And please.. Don't visit the Levi's counter at PS tmw, cuz I won't be able to stop laughing, then I'd get alot of gas in my tummy, then I'd look bloated, then I'd not eat dinner, which means skipping 2 meals a day, which means we'll probably be late for musical.

And I havent been skipping lunch on purpose. I don't know. It's always either
a) no appetite
b) no lunch at home
c) going out alone, so won't eat alone.

Going out alone reminds me of Ikea. I want swedish meatballs and potatoe salad. Hmm. Wonder what else there is at Pastamania.

Oh and Clara's friend? The one I spoke to online, and who's hand I had to shake cuz he stuck it infront of me? Has a baby face. Haha. And baby faces remind me of that idiot. =D

Hmm. I'm hungry. Oh yea.. and because I didn't eat much at the bbq, I had to eat cup noodles when I got home. *rolls eyes* Mother thinks that's very funny. Hmpf. I guess she could tell I didn't have a great time at the bbq. There's tiramisu in the fridge. Yay. Comfort food. Even though I usually not like cake.

Oh yea, and people spell "surprise" as "suprise", in sms-es because it's feels weird hitting the same button 3 times. Lol. I always make that mistake and have to keep going back to edit. Other than that, they're mad.

Oh right. So now what's with Amanda. I saw Nessa's nick on msn, so just clicked and msged. Got back a reply, "amanda here." and the next thing I know, POOF. She's offline. Like.. huh? And I was going to ask when she wants her present also. WHATEVER. Damn the whole fucking world la. I've been trying my utmost best not to swear in this blog, or in any of my blogs, but I cant take it anymore. Fucked up pieces of walking meat are irritating the shit outta me. Wtf.
Oh. She just logged on using her own msn. Okay. I take that outburst back. =X

I am one unreasonable lil bitch. :)

My calf muscles are screaming bloody murder. I think Joel will be able to hear them cursing soon. Haha. Ooh. Tony Hawk 4. Haha. You can play with him tomorrow while I sleep! Ah. I'm such a genius. =D

Ooh.. Are you walking to my house tmw morning? Will you pass Hougang Point? Can you buy curry puff and somethings else, anything, from Old Chang Kee for me? Please? Haha. I want to eat siew mai la! All your fault. Because of that day the Sentosa one la! And I don't even like siew mai.

Oh ya.. My boss raised my pay. By 50cents. -rolls eyes- So now it's $4.50 per hour. Whoopee. But aiya. Better than nothing uh. At least work will distract me. I hope. :)

I am now discussing my bad hair day with Clara's friend. Ah. Just name him. He's raphael. Haha. What a name. Doesn't suit his face at all. Hmm.
My hair ah.. is irritating the shit outta me too. So messy. But I kinda like the length eh? How uh?

My media player is conked out. It keeps playing Brimful of Asha and this CHINESE song. Haha.

Okay. Now my legs are propped up on my computer table, and they keyboard is balancing on a pillow, on my legs. Yippeee. I feel much more comfortable now. Just that when I have to stretch and click on blinking windows, I'd wanna yell.
Oh ya. WEREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO GET YOUR ASS ONLINE?! Now I remember my whole purpose of coming online! Hmpf! Yesterday, supposed to call, didn't. Today, supoosed to come online, didn't.
If you dare to not turn up tomorrow, I will personally see to your murder I tell you. I will pluckout your hair one by one, and then deep fry you in leftover oil - my favourite torutre method. Haha.

I think this is a long entry. But I think it has abosolutely no content at all. Haha.

I can hear my Reef slippers calling out to me. Can't you hear it? Haha. Oh and I hope the Uncle selling the local ice cream is there at PS tomorrow. I'm about to become his number 1 fan. Haha. And this time.. no corn ice cream.

Oh. And the only way I would eat at the bbq today was if Clara plucked the chicken for me. i didn't make her.. she offered. I just didn't refuse, that's all. I think we both looked insane. She was holding the chicken and I just bit into it. Haha. Man.. I'm such a pig. Oh and the pig on my door is gone. It got too smelly. I wanted to wash it.. But I can't seem to hear it's oinking, so I don't know where it is. Hmpf. i hope my mum didn't throw it away. Looking at the state it was in.. all grey and icky, she might have. Cuz I distinctively remember her asking if I wanted to throw it away. Hmm. bad bad. I sorta miss it eh. Haha.

Oh! I saw this tiny book thing at toys r us today. It's really small.. smaller than my palm. Like.. the size of.. my handphone screen? Slightly bigger la duh. It was in a shape of a star. Not a very nice star, but the words inside? Were totally about stars, moons, and faeries!!! They spelt it fairies, though. But very cute. Haha. It was in the babies section. Wonder who actually bothers to notice such stuff.

If I were you, I'd be reluctant to give away the money too. Afterall, it means more spending money and all. But yea.. jeans and all aren't as important as Nugget. But I think it's a good thing you're doing.. this donation of money thing. Made me tear la you. Haha. -bonks head- My head, that is. What kind of idiot cries at stuff like that?!

And your sister.. very funny. About the.. calling her fat thing. Haha. Ehhhh I wanna see skirt!!! -wails-
I think the 2 of us go to 2 extremes man.. I stay up late like noone's business.. and update and ridiculous times. I slept at 5am, did I mention. And you.. post in the wee ungodly hours of the morning. Haha.

Alright la. I guess by now your eyes are about to pop out. Entry so long, filled with shit somemore. But eh.. type a long entry for all you're worth.. cuz I like reading long entries. Erm.. most of the time. Haha. :)


Thursday, December 26, 2002

haha sorry. after munching on all that oily pieces of pork, they awoken the pig in me. i fell asleep. erm. haha. er. *sheepish look* i know i know (but the pig in you is acting and running!) shut up you piece of dried up sng buay.

if you get your Reef slippers for the Thailand trip, you will cry like a stuck hog when you step on mud or elephant shit there, i tell you. haha forgive me stuckinthe60's mentality but everytime i see the word "Thailand", i see elephants in pretty sequinned costumes. the more i think about the long hours i had to endure at Andersens, trying my utmost best to keep myself occupied so that i will fantasizing about shoving the short auntie's head into the ice-cream tubs. heh and sprinking pecan nuts all over her hair. and then chucking a whole nest of red ants down her back. ehhehheheheh. and the world goes round again *whistles*

i don't know why you're feeling upset. and you don't either. so ignorance is bliss. bliss means happiness. so there. gimme that cheesy smile of yours! my sister thinks you're cute. haha. oh well she's buying her skirt today. this is not good. not good at all. forgive my stuckinthe60's mentality again but how can the younger sibling wear skirts first?! but if the younger sibling's a boy, that's a whole different story. but if the younger sibling's a gay boy, ah, that's a interesting story. somehow whilst typing here, i'm very inclined to digress and go astray. so as i was saying, she cannot get a skirt! fine. i'll get a skirt too. piece of monkey intestine.

i was talking about my generous donation. haha er. ya la i feel reluctant to give away such a large sum of money. especially when i was the one who slogged my guts and lungs and kidneys out to earn that large sum of money. but a promise is a promise. shoes, jeans and sweaters aren't as important to me as Nugget is. my mom asked me to donate half of it first. then remember my promise and continue the rest of the donation in instalments. how sad. haha.
was watching the news the other day. (surprise, surprise) anyway, i don't know how come a lot of people like spelling "surprise" as "suprise". queer bunch of creatures. "Suprise" looks like an Indian name. ahaha. the Indian sweeper who's in charge of my block seemed very happy that Nugget came home. such a nice man. must make sure my mom give him a nice fat angbao on Chinese New Year. er ya, news. you know that old textbooks giveaway thing? ya now they have old school uniforms giveaways. and families whose incomes are below $1500 are eligible for that event. then i realized that my family's monthly income is below $1500. and a huge fraction of that goes to tuition and bills. guess i should understand that it's not my mother's fault when she denies me of the things i want. and she tries her best la. hmm yep.

Clara's dog is called Lily right? hahah. eh i hope you'll be more cheerful today. don't stress yourself over your busy schedule once you start work. you'll find time to meet up with people, i'm sure. and please remember me. don't let school and homework destroy me. you said that you'd go swimming with me you numbskull. i'm soooo fat. honest. the secret to staying happy is to just go with the flow. just enjoy the happy energy for as long as it lasts. don't worry about the next day. think it's probably PMS la. regular sleeping pattern la woman. PLEASE la.

you know Hugh Grant's an Oxford English Literature graduate? he looks abit illiterate. i mean what the heck, he got arrested for having a hooker give him a blow job while he was on the road. and then Liz Hurley and that safety-pin dress. think she's beautiful though. and he's rather cute. i think you should call your kor. email him. call him. try all sorts of means to contact him.

i'm going kite-flying with her later. quite weird actually. don't know why but i feel a little bit funny. it's this sort of feelings that ruin things. so shut up Kana. stop those pretend debates in your own head. dumdeedum. want to visit SPCA with me one day? i'll be working on Wednesday. at Parkway. $12 per hour! mwahaha.

i couldnt get to sleep.
and you didnt call me you goon. hmpf.

i dont know what the hell's up with my moods. probably pms. i've been relatively happy for the past few days or so, that i've sort of forgotten what's it like to be so pissy and moody.

clara's bbq tmw. wonder if i should go. half feel like, half dont. hmm. we'll see. maybe i'll bring along the 3 pink knives and stab all of them. plus, ecp's kinda sorta close to marine parade uh. -sniggers-

yay. i think i shall just type whateevr pops into my head, cuzineed something to distract me from my moody sings. hmm. people are not replying fast enough. haha.

really uh. why cant people jus stay happy uh? can't stand it sometimes you know. i've been so scared of feeling happy, cuz everytime i am, the first thought that comes to my head is something along the lines of "what if something screws up?" sometimes i get like that too when i see others happy. it's not that i dont want them to be happy. i do. makes me happy too. tsk. see la. the result of crying so often. TSK.

was playing around with my new hifi set jus now. =D <-- that smiley reminds me of that idiot. i happen to like that smiley. so cheery.

i cant believe i slept at 5:30am last night. er.. wait. actually i can. lol. what's with my crap.
what i cant believe is that i stepped into her dog's shit. (?!) 5 years of having dogs in my place, andi never once stepped into doggy poo. yechh.

oh. and i spread our habit of inserting a vulgarity which ryhmes with duck/puck/luck/muck/schmuck/wuck/tuck/buck/suck/ruck/nuck into our sentences whenever possible to her. -grin- Bad bad me.. tsk.

i wonder what chicken nugget's doing. dum dee dum. and yes, i left out and intentionally. haha. poor confused lil dog. has to be called chicken. freakin funny. let's suggest new names. how about.. pok pok keh? or ping pong ball? those were the names of my neopets. hey, not my fault. you named ping pong ball. =D
hmm.. what about mushroom? ICTOADBNFY? it means, or rather, stands for - i couldnt think of a damn blasted name for you. ahaha. how freakin lame.
it's the late hours, i tell you. they're causing severe damage to my brain.

i wonder how long more im gonna go on. hey you better post something soon alright.. i like reading. most of them time. most. oh and i still want a copy of tuesdays with morrie. preferably a hard cover one. but sheena got hers overseas. hmm.

im sorta kinda looking forward to my trip to thailand. and im sorta kinda considering not specifying when exactly im leaving, and also sorata kinda thinking of not telling him im going. and just POOF. but i wonder how miserable that would make my holiday. hmm.
hey my mum suggested getting cheap slippers to wear there, so that we can jus throw them away before coming back. i thought she was referring to slippers like your orange one. (disclaimer: i am in no way saying those are cheap slippers worthy only to wear for a couple of days, only to be thrown away. i just meant i thought she meant slippers which look like those which are cheap and worthy only to be worn for a couple of days and then thrown away.) turns out she actually meant those blue and white ones which ah peks wear to the market. hmm. i told her i'd find my own slippers, thank you very much. of course, i didnt mention that i'm considering purchasing slippers of a brand she's never heard of in her entire life, which would cost me 32 bucks. =D

typing all this shit here is starting to make me feel nice and cheery. yay. i hope that doesnt change for anything. i dont wanna be depressed. tsk.

you are a goondoo kuku dodo purple polka dotted piece of a pig brain i tell you. why the hell didnt you call or msg me back? huh? huh! the bak gua ate you up right?! huh! eat so much.. take 20 mins. my foot ah! -waves foot around- ahaha. ok. im a lil demented.

whoever stumbles upon this blog is going to think we're saiko. what with the blog add, and the split personalities, of us both. ahaha. so that's a total of 4 persons. hmm.

ack. i think i just ran out of things to say! the horrors. since when does that happen to me? eek.

you smelly, swamp-smelling, marshmallow-brained, demented, fly attracting, people repelling, geeky piece of retarded, stinky, unstable monkey crap. apologies for the lack of names here. braindead, is i.

i is to be talking like this no? and you is to be imagining zis in an indianing accenting no? yay! -i is to be grinning-
i is to be slightly sadding you is not to be being here on christmas? :( i is not to be thinking back no? -shaking head i am-
you is to be outing tmw.. tsking tsking. then i is to be outing aloning yes! -grinning i am-
eet is okaying. i is not minding. yaying.

jolene is to be shut uping. :)

on second thoughts, no. i dont wanna shut up. i wanna type til my fingers can type no more, and my head can think no more. i think my fingers would die before my head yes? thats only logical. but then again, logical is something im not now.

alright. i'll stop here for now. :)

nugget nugget nugget!! yay!!!

blerugh. still feeling abit weird eh. dunnu why. bah. shall call you soon. yay. hmm.

Monday, December 23, 2002

boo! -hug- hope you feel better soon.

if it makes you feel better, i know how you feel.

Sunday, December 22, 2002

+NeSsA+ Who am i trying to convince? + says:
lol. cos i think u and sam are a nice and VERY sweet to be couple

+NeSsA+ Who am i trying to convince? + says:
+NeSsA+ Who am i trying to convince? + says:
You two look like a couple
//tell me this will be a faerytale. please? says:
ahahaha. you mad
//tell me this will be a faerytale. please? says:
we're not even tgt or anything close.
//tell me this will be a faerytale. please? says:
+NeSsA+ Who am i trying to convince? + says:
i know
+NeSsA+ Who am i trying to convince? + says:
but tis' possible
+NeSsA+ Who am i trying to convince? + says:
i think it's more den 50%
//tell me this will be a faerytale. please? says:
huh.. why?

hmm. dont know how much hope to put in that no?

Saturday, December 21, 2002


Okay. As you already know, I cried the 2 times I read your post. Lol.

ok. i cant type now, cuz am panickin. i tell you abt it when i call you or sth.

Friday, December 20, 2002

it warms my heart to know that i'm someone who is significant to you because you're as important to me, as i am to you. don't know if you know that actually. and to speak the truth, i kinda really don't want to lose this friendship. sure we'll both be busy like fuck next year or maybe one of us will just get lazy to call but i hope that doesn't spell the end of this special bond between us. i mean, what the heck. i apologize beforehand here, in case i become a lazy, heartless piece of bum who allows our friendship to slip before my eyes just because i refuse to pick up the phone to call. if that should happen, i hope you won't hesistate to call me. even then, i don't think it'll be that difficult a task to renew our friendship.

there's so much in life that we haven't been through and i hope you will be able to see me through all the ordeals that are awaiting me. plus, the good stuff as well. and i want to be able to do that as well. i know i'm a lousy friend. can't deny that. how many friends have i lost just because of my lazy and nonchalant nature. maybe not nonchalant, i just refuse to let people see that i care. i haven't said this to you before but i guess you're my best friend. i know you have one of your own already but i'm still entitled to naming you as my best friend right? okay wait. scrap that. i'm not about to jinx the both of us by calling giving you that bestfriend title. just know that you're so indescribably important to me and i'm so thankful, no fucking thankful that our paths have crossed each other's. because you're one person who's made a huge difference in my life and i hope you'll continue to do so.
um. i forgot my username and password. how? haha. hopefully by the end of this, i would have been offered some help to solve this not-so-clever problem. i've got a a damn in-grown toenail but i think that's listed somewhere in your 100-things-i-do-not-need-to-know list right? haha. Nurul's leaving for Indonesia already. i'm so glad i sorted things out with her you know? like over the moon, like on cloud 9, like euphoric, like Sylvester who just finished a meal of Tweety, like a hot-blooded 15 year old male who just lost his status as a virgin. it's relief also. and thank you so much for being there for me, really. i couldn't have done it without you.
just fucking work la, you bitch of a blog!


Tuesday, December 17, 2002

Hey you..
You just msged me not long ago to tell me you're upset, and asked if I'm online. Mm yea. So I replied and said yes, either Msn or Icq.
And I got back a reply, saying nvm, that you'll go to sleep. And that you're sorry I have to keep hearing you go on and on, goodnight.

I didn't realise that my reply might have sounded pissed, or can't be bothered-ish, or that I'm sick and tired of you going on and on.
And I want to tell you, I really really really don't mind listening to you go on and on. Really. I don't know what I can do to convince you, to let you believe that, but I really don't mind. That's what friends are for anyway.

I know I can't help you much, but I'm hoping that by being here to listen to you, as much as I can, you'll feel just that little bit better. I'm not too sure how much I'm actually helping.

There isn't a lot of advice that I can give you, but I can lend you my shoulders. For as long as you like, even til you have no more tears.

What I will tell you is that you really have to take time and think if you really want to stick to the decision you've already made. Don't immediately say "yes, I want to, badly."
Listen to me, and think over, very very clearly. That way, you'll be fair to both parties. Think about if you're really going to be happy, and if the other party is going to be happy too. I know you want to try and work things out as best as you can, but it does have to be a two party effort. I'm not saying the other side does not care, neither am I saying that she doesn't want to try.

Maybe all the two of you need is time to really contemplate over everything, and what you need, what you want.

I know all I say isn't really helping. I really don't know how I can phrase my words to assure you that I am trying my best to be a friend to you now, when you need one. I'm not sure if I bring you any form of comfort when you need it, but I'm trying, so maybe one day I'll get there.

All I'm trying to get at here, is that you're very very dear to me, practically my second best friend. I want to try as far as possible to be here for you to talk to and all. I know one person can't be there all the time, but I'm trying my best. And believe me when I say I don't mind you talking to me about everything that's bugging you, even if it's just repeats after repeats.

Also believe and trust me when I say that you're strong, and you will get through this. No matter how hard it seems now, how hurting it all is, it'll pass, and I'll be here to make sure you get through in one piece.

I don't have words and the power of English on my side to convey whatever's in my head. All I can do is try as hard as I can to carefully phrase what I want to tell you, and hope that the message gets across.

Just remember that you are one person who's very important to me, and hold a significant place in my heart. Also, I'm here if you ever want to talk, scream, cry, laugh, bitch, yell, curse, swear, shout, or just listen to the brilliance of silence with someone. Heh. Problems like this are all part and parcel of life, and I'm positve that one day, I'd be in your shoes and cry everyday. So just know that you're not alone, I'm here, and I care. A lot. :)

Tuesday, December 03, 2002

testing, testing. 1 2 3

Monday, December 02, 2002

Hey ah ma. I still havent settled on a bog addy for this thingy.. because I want to ask you ma. But havent had the chance to.
This place lets you change the add; I've tried.

And you know.. I'm not sure if I want people to know about this journal, because. Well, I don't know. So that we can talk and blog here if we can't talk or something? Blerugh.

Shall just rant here for awhile. Mood swing.

Cried myself to sleep at 4+am last night, as I already told you. Didn't tell many people. Only a few know. I don't know. PMS? Maybe.

Was just feeling trapped, like I've no where to turn. It seems like everyone has their own problems bugging them, and I just don't want to bug them all with my own crap, you know? I mean, I know as friends, they will want to listen and all, but I really don't want to make them listen to me. Not when they're in tears and all because of their own shit. It just feels like crap.
And I don't feel good ranting to those who are happy with their lives either. It feels like I'm ripping their happiness and all from them, with my problems and all. And in the end they'll feel guil;ty for feeling happy while listening to me cry. And I don't want that.

So where does that leave me? i just feel lost and all. Ah. I don't know la.

And was crying. Because I realise I havent spoken to you for ages. Well, it seems like ages anyway. Ya.. because you're working and all. And I don't get to talk to you. I was wondering, fretting what if this happens next year too, because of a clash of schedules. And then I realise that I'm very much afraid of losing this friendship, no matter how gradually. Because you're dear to me, I find that I can talk to you about many things I can't tell others, and you understand the way I feel and all. I hope it's vice versa too. Maybe it's a dip in confidence that I am a good friend to you, and others. I don't know.
I'm so afraid things will change when I start school again. I'm so afraid of losing friendships, other friendships too.
I know I havent been able to talk to you as often as I would like to, this time because of your job and the late hours. Now, it's your job. When you stop working, I start. Then you start school. And when I start school, you get busy with the Os. And by the time your Os are over, I'll be facing projects and all that.
I really am afraid of drifting. And while we might not feel it, it might happen ever so slowly.

I know that we can maintain this friendship if we both try. Like how I am able to still stay close to Clara. But you know sometimes I wonder if we're that close, and I wonder how well she knows me and all. I know that I know and understand her better than she does me. I don't know.

I really like our friendship and all. And how silence is so comfortable between us. And how things just are.
But sometimes I wonder if I understand you, and if I'm being a good friend to you, you know?

I just don't want to lose this.

Ah I don't know la.
Boohoo. Where are you?! Drowning in ice cream?

Sunday, December 01, 2002

Kana.. you. Still haven't joined this thing after so long. Bah.

I'm in a bad mood now. All ready to kill someone. Like wtf. Everyone's irritating. And I'm in abit of a depressed mood too. Bah.

Where's everyone anyway? And how come everyone gets into a bad mood at the same time anyway? Bah.

I'm starting to sound like a sheep. Bah.